Like ice, only I live on it

I have hardwood floors.

The fact that my apartment is so tiny means that the most convenient way to clean the floor is actually by hand. The first time I cleaned the floor here I had Pledge and paper towels handy, so I went with it (going with the flow is one of the secrets to bachelor housekeeping). It works okay--the fixed costs of mopping (filling the bucket, getting rid of the dirty water afterward) don't have enough floor to be amortized away. With a swiffer-like device, on the other hand, there's enough junk on my floors by the time I clean that I have to change the cloth several times, so it's not much of a win given that it's so much harder to navigate small corners. Which I have in abundance.

Anyway, I don't think Pledge is really meant for floors. For one thing, the floor is slippery for a while after you use it. Especially if you're wearing socks. Today my floor is clean but treacherous.

Clearly, someday someone is going to get blood all over my nice clean floor. And what am I going to clean that up with?